


the holy roman empire roots for you

by nonbinarywithaknife (littleboxes)



Series: dimension 20 [2]
Category: Dimension 20 (Web Series)
Genre: (Technically. For Now. We'll See), Allusions to the horrors of war, Campaign: A Crown of Candy, Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, Gen, Lapin is a sweary guy, Lapin-Typical Religious Heresy, Mid-Battle, Reluctant Attachment, pessimism babyyy, very light gore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-26
Updated: 2020-04-26
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:54:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23851885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littleboxes/pseuds/nonbinarywithaknife
Summary: some of lapin's thoughts during the ambush on the sucrosi road.
Relationships: Lapin Cadbury & Jet Rocks, Lapin Cadbury & Ruby Rocks, Lapin Cadbury & The House of Rocks, Lapin Cadbury & The Sugar Plum Fairy
Series: dimension 20 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1706107
Comments: 29
Kudos: 110





	the holy roman empire roots for you

**Author's Note:**

> couldn't think of a title so i literally just stole a lyric from the first song spotify suggested but now i associate walcott by vampire weekend with lapin so im the clown i guess

_Oh, fuck this_ , Lapin thinks, as Princess Jet chooses the most inopportune time to try her hand at blackmail. (Lapin is intimately acquainted with blackmail. Lapin, on the rare occasion it becomes necessary, can be quite skilled at wielding it himself. The young Royal is not very good at it. Lapin does not have time this.)

 _Oh,_ ** _fuck this_** , Lapin thinks as he watches the King sprint onto the field of battle, _alone_ , and subsequently be surrounded. (Lapin understands that the King was never meant to rule. Lapin understands that the King can do the most damage when he can cleave through masses of enemies with Payment Day, and the fact that the King is, indeed, meant to _stay alive_ above all else frequently escapes him. Lapin sighs deeply anyway, and wishes for a nap, despite the early time of day.) 

(Even when they are not being accosted by “bandits,” that is something he does very often.) 

(If Lapin did not have far too many other, more prominent threats to his life to worry about, he would be concerned that the House of Rocks is attempting to drive him to an early grave from stress.)

 _Great. Wonderful. Either use magic in front of the whole caravan or let the royal family be assassinated_. _Do_ you _have any bright ideas, then?_ he thinks toward that sugar-plum aura that has hovered in the back of his mind for as long as he’s had this agreement.

Of course the Fairy doesn’t answer, because that would require being _helpful_ , and Lapin is quite sure at this point that to be helpful is against the tenets of the Sweetening Path and a personal affront to the Sugar Plum Fairy herself, and Lapin sighs again. He pulls himself through the window, cursing his joints, and lays a paw on Princess Ruby’s bloody shoulder. 

(He finds the twin princesses deeply irritating at times, namely when they are singing to each other in that bewildering language they seem to have invented when he is in the middle of a lecture, or when they decide to try to distract him by asking him increasingly nonsensical questions, but. _But_. Lapin remembers the days of the Ravening War well, and he has seen a few too many small bodies covered in blood to not climb up the side of the carriage a little faster. He hopes- does not _pray_ \- that Theobald and the King will get to their work quickly.)

Jet stares solemnly at him from above her sister’s body and starts to go on about whatever she _thinks_ she saw, and he interrupts her with a growled, “Get _out of here_ ,” because he will absolutely not be the reason that _both_ princesses end up with arrows in their throats. They are nuisances, but... they are nuisances he has grown... accustomed to, despite his best efforts. It is hard to teach a pair of children from childhood and not have an attachment, regardless of his feelings about his placement there and the ways it came to be.

The fucking Sugar Plum Fairy, of course, has no interest in bothering to hide her rather _noticeable_ magical signatures, and Lapin feels worry and irritation in his belly. 

“I know you think you _know something_ ,” he says, trying to be civil and failing, “but there are- a _thousand_ other fish to fry right now.”

“Lapin, you did exactly what I asked, you’ve _got_ my silence!”

“ _Good_ ,” he mutters under his breath, because the alternatives are. Not ideal. He’s made it this long, and if his effort is all unraveled because of a _teenager_ , he thinks he might almost deserve it.

But of course, the twin princesses are hardly the only royal family members in mortal peril, so he twists to where he saw King Amethar, and calls on his magic again, pressing it to take its shape as the Bulbian light everyone expects it to be. 

_We’re all going to die_ , he thinks, and heals the King. 

Ruby is starting to come to and Jet has made no move to get behind cover, still hovering protectively over her twin’s prone body, the _idiot_ ( ~~brave~~ ) child. Lapin looks over the battlefield with tired eyes and watches the King ready his weapon for another round. Watches Theobald rush into the melee and is begrudgingly- _very_ begrudgingly- glad for his presence as he downs one of the attackers almost immediately and whirls on another. 

“We’re all going to _die_ ,” he grumbles, feeling the Sugar Plum magic buzz around him as he calls on it to try and stop the people he is required to protect- ( _cares about_ \- _would like to see alive-)_ from being murdered by “bandits.”


End file.
